We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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