She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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