The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize