1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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