Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
