3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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