I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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