This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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