hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
someone owes me an orgasm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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