Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
