yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize