he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So many bounce houses so little time
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize