I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
