I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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