God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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