haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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