It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm at about main and main street
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize