He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
