We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i drank out of a bidet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
