marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
