Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
