That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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