We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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