Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
birth control should be required to get into college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
