oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
