My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
