My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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