i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
