I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
