if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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