she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
