He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
