I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
