I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
