he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
