OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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