return my video game
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
