Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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