Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He has the fingertips of a God
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
