I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
false alarm, still single
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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