He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The ass gains better be worth it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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