i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
