Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
