I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
