I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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