i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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