i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
