I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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