How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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