i used baking grease as lip gloss
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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