My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
