I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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