Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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