just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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