Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
