after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize