it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
one might say we're banned from that church
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
